Who Let theSheep Out?
by ifonly-criedthewoodpecker
Summary: Killian adopts a lamb. (Crack-ish)
_A horrible crack fic based off of a really weird dream I had._

* * *

Why he was doing this he had no clue.

Excuse me, why he had ever _started_ doing this was the thing that he questioned.

How could it have already been _three weeks_ since he's begun this ridiculous chore _?_

Killian loved animals. He really did.

I mean, he had never personally owned one - a ship not exactly being the best place to raise a dog or cat or any other animal that might've taken away food rations from the crew (or that he may have gotten attached to and promptly lost), but he really did like them.

However, that still didn't tell him exactly why he found himself taking a lamb for a walk on the streets of Storybrooke, and - even worse - why he was watching himself become the submissive one in the relationship he'd formed with said lamb.

"Sheldon! Sheldon, you like this road. Why won't you just turn?" the damn lamb was far too stubborn for his own good, and it insisted on going down the main streets of town when there were far more hidden roads to be taken. Roads where no one had to know that he was being controlled by a sheep the size of a Chihuahua.

"Sheldon, this road even goes past the park! I can let you off your leash if we go there!" he called after the little black bundle of fur before him that was continually pulling on the leash in an attempt to get him to follow.

He finally looked behind him and let out a slight baa in a final plea for him to follow.

He was cute, he'd give him that.

…

 _…That's_ how this had happened. Dave had used the lamb's pathetic cuteness against him.

(That and the fact that he apparently needed to get out more.

 _"Killian, you volunteer everywhere else. At the library, the sheriff's office, you even help out at Granny's every now and again. It wouldn't be that difficult for you to take my place at the animal shelter," the prince had said after he'd declined his offer to take in the sheep. "Plus it's not like you have somewhere to be."_

 _He was somewhat appalled at the lack of a social life Dave appeared to have assumed he had._

 _He did plenty of things, thank you._

 _"I'll have you know-"_

 _But he was not allowed to defend his plans and life outside of Emma and volunteering as the other man was desperate enough to drop any manners he may have had._

 _"Please, Killian. I just- he's so small. He needs to get out and he needs to be allowed to live, but he can't do that in a kennel. You and Emma have a nice backyard, and I'm sure you'll find time to walk him somewhere." He was practically begging by that point, and though it was amusing, the situation was still ridiculous._

 _However, with an innocent "baa" from the sheep, and one last pleading look from Dave, he had found himself walking a sheep home.)_

(And then again, twice every day, for the last three weeks.)

"Sheldon, no! We are not going that way!" he told the sheep, looking at him warily while trying to hold his ground against its pouting eyes.

However, as it skipped back up to him and gently nudged his shin, he found it was very difficult to say no. Even if he'd deny giving into the will of a sheep if he was ever asked about it.

He began following after the ball of black wool as he led the way down the streets of Storybrooke; skipping along, and drawing the eyes of every other pedestrian they passed.

He had been hoping that the lingering glances and occasional plea for permission to pet him would be all that he would have to deal with at Sheldon's newfound fondness of sidewalks and attention, but - as fate would have it - a head of red hair growing closer and closer almost absolutely assured him that that wouldn't be the case.

After her eyes had thoroughly taken in every piece of the sheep and him (including Sheldon's collar with the goofy bell on it and the retractable leash he was holding), the witch smiled - something filled with agonizing amusement - as she then leaned down to pat the sheep's small head.

"Morning, Zelena," he sighed, acting as pleasantly as he could. Though she was on the same side as he was by this point, he still couldn't help having a bit of animosity for her still.

"Captain," she replied, smiling somewhat…well…wickedly. "Might I ask why you happen to be getting dragged about the town by this little fellow?" she asked, using her head in order to gesture to Sheldon (who was once again tugging on his leash in an attempt to keep their walk going.

Once the petting was over, Sheldon had better things to do.

"Dave pawned him off on me when he was found wandering aimlessly around town." He looked down at Sheldon who gave up his pursuit in favor of turning for a moment and looking at him.

(He felt ridiculous for thinking that a sheep understood what he was saying.)

(However, he did seem quite annoyed by him saying that his wandering was pointless.)

"We think that he may have escaped from a farm somewhere, but because he's such a small thing, we were pretty sure that he'd live happily around here with us." He smiled at Zelena tightly, signaling that he'd rather not discuss the matter any further.

She wore a smirk that told him that she understood, but felt the need to finish off their short chat with a few passing words.

"Well, alright. Have fun with little Toto here then," she said, restarting her trek in the opposite direction from he and Sheldon. However, with a fake look of deep consideration, she turned back around and smiled sweetly. "Actually, I think I might know who that little bundle of fluff may belong to."

He turned to her with vigor, hoping that he would finally be able to get rid of the stubborn and time consuming lamb.

 _Maybe she had some sort of connection with farmers when she had been living on a farm herself…_

"Do you know the woman Bo Peep?" she asked knowingly, grin set firm in place as she interrupted his line of thought.

"Aye," he responded cautiously.

She kept on. "Well, it's the funniest thing. Just the other day I had been talking to her - just a few weeks ago, in fact, and she mentioned that some of her livestock got out." She looked at Sheldon and began to kneel down as she pet him.

Hook's eyebrows furrowed as he followed the movement.

"It's a pity really," she sighed with false disappointment in her tone. "She makes _divine_ lamb chops."

She gave Sheldon one last pat on the head which he innocently leaned in to, before giving a fleeting 'ta ta!' and walking away.

He grimaced at the thought of Sheldon being skinned, cleaned, weighed, and then slapped on a plate. He was too cute for that - he had too much of a personality.

(Plus that Bo Peep was just horrendous as it was.)

He looked at the lamb who continued walking down the road with a resigned sigh as he knew he wouldn't be returning him any time soon.

(Or ever, for that matter.)

(Admittedly, he had grown on him.)

(And if made sure they avoided the butcher's shop at all times, and decided against eating lamb when given the choice, that was just between him and the lamb.)

(And possibly Zelena, who made as many sheep jokes as she possibly could when he made these patterns clear.)

(He helped raise a sheep, but he was fairly certain that he was dealing with an ass.)


End file.
